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Here are just a few of my ideas for solving immigration abuse once and for all.

  1. Ban countries with a murder rate higher than the U.S.
  2. Ban countries that stone women, define rape victims as perpetrators unless they produce witnesses to the rape, marry off girls under the age of 18 to scabby, lecherous perverts (will not use the word “men” to define that swine), and just basically all-around enslave/kill/monetize women.
  3. Ditto for countries that do the same to gay people or any similar such treatment to anybody regardless of sex, race, ethnicity, religion, or disability.
  4. Ban countries that imprison/kill journalists (won’t hold my breath for a thank you from American journalists—term used generously).
  5. Ban countries that openly call for the destruction of America and/or call America the Great Satan or any iteration of that slur.
  6. Ban countries whose corporations have open disdain for America’s laws and think that the laws are optional (I’m talking about you, Dutch uber-elite corps, and some of you too, German think-you-know-it-all-but-don’t-know-squat companies).
  7. Ban countries who have had a civil war within the last 20 years (maybe I’m being too generous here, make it 40 years?) and have slaughtered their own people who share the same race, religion, culture, et al. If they murder each other with such abandon, how do you think they are going to treat Americans?
  8. Ban countries that eat cats and dogs…and horses (that means you France!)
  9. Ban any country that allows immigration from any of these previously listed countries.

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